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It’s the great paradox of male friendship; while we want to connect with our male friends, we don’t dare for fear of losing man points.
Even amongst the people we supposedly trust the most – people we might metaphorically or take a bullet for – we are expected to continue performing the tropes of being a man.
Our careers take us in different directions, responsibilites mean we have less time to spend with anyone outside of our immediate family, etc.
Because we’re not able to spend the time it takes to maintain those ties – even if it’s just once every couple of weeks – those friendships wither and fall away like a diseased tree limb.
As we grow up, we learn the lessons of manhood: we don’t cry, we don’t admit weakness.
We don’t talk about our feelings; we bottle that shit up and face the world with stoic resolve.
Our bros are there to tell us to man the fuck up and do what needs to be done. And so we go seeking those connections without ever explicitly admitting to it.
for social connections continues to remain the same size.
And while some of those needs are met by our romantic partners, it still leaves a void.
It becomes a perverse balancing act: trying to bond without the shame of acknowledging your emotions.
Sure, talk about your complicated feelings towards breaking up with your ex, just be sure to beat your chest around the campfire after.